Mixed Metaphors

1. The Three Boxes of Life
2. Whack-a-Mole
3. Juggling: When All the Balls Are in the Air

As readers of my blog already know, I like to mix metaphors. Today I introduce the first installment of another Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! series entitled, Pick a Metaphor.  In this series I will choose a topic and look at it based on a number of metaphors. What I have found in my own life is that sometimes the metaphor I select to describe an issue I’m facing sets the tone of how I will think and feel about it. 

For those of you who are a new to my blog, a little background: I live and work in Madison, Wisconsin. I’m at the threshold of the third act of my life. I’m a 65-year-young, lesbian-feminist, activist-essayist, poet, memoirist, and filmmaker. I’m single woman, a daughter, sister and I hope — a good friend. I’m politically progressive from a working-class background, socially conscious, and a baby boomer recovering from substances, behaviors and relationships that no longer serve me.

As a writer in the public sphere of social media, I sometimes want to silence or carefully protect my thoughts or opinions for fear that they may be judged harshly by others and trigger consequences that I can’t control. What I’ve learned is that I can’t control who reads what I write, I can only choose what to share.

I mention this because the Life-Planning issue I write about today may impact what jobs I may be offered, how much I will be able to earn to sustain me, and where, with whom, and how I will live this last chapter of my life. The stakes are high. Workers are in peril with the dissolution of unions and the enactment of right-to-work laws, benefits that were once offered in lieu of raises have been taken away or cut back; jobs are outsourced to other regions of the United States for lower wages, or worse abroad. Sometimes workers are discriminated against because of age, race, disability, ethnic origin and sexual preference and identity. Working families cannot afford the quality of life their parents experienced and the new generation of the workforce who embraced the promise of higher education is saddled with tremendous debt and sometimes unable to work in the field for which they were trained.

I read a compelling essay this week on Salon.com by Laura Bennett, Why Did the Harrowing Personal Essay Take Over the Internet?  She posits, “First-person writing has long been the Internet’s native voice.” She further describes one of my objectives in sharing my personal stories, “… how to write about oneself in a way that is at once gripping and sensitive and that sheds light on broader sociopolitical issues.”

There are costs and consequences for first-person writers and sometimes accusations of over-sharing. No worries —nothing harrowing in today’s blog post — simply the status of my life today and the decisions ahead of me.

Disclaimer: First, I want to acknowledge my gratitude that I’m fortunate compared to others here in the U.S. and around the world. In looking at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I have food, shelter, and I’m safe. There are multitudes of others who are hungry, homeless, refuges from their home countries, and in danger.

Let’s begin. Pick a metaphor.

The Three Boxes of Life (and How to Get Out of Them)

A life/work planning guide by Richard Bolles, author of the bestselling, What Color Is Your Parachute? From his official website, “This is a textbook about life/work planning. It discusses the normal way in which we think about our life: a time of education and learning from age 5 until we are 18 or 22 (the first box); then a time of working from the ages of 22 through 65 or so (the second box); and then a time of retirement, leisure and play from ages 65 to the time we die (the third box). The book asks why our life should be divided into these three boxes;  why not make learning, working, and playing part of every day, regardless of our age.  It discusses how to do this. First published in 1978.”

Today I face a number of questions; many of them address the themes of Bolles’ work. What kind of work do I want to do for the remainder of my life? How many hours do I want and need to work; will I work full or part-time? How can I meld my avocations with my vocation? Can play be an element of my work life? How can I continue to be a lifelong learner as I work and play? How and to what causes can I contribute to my community and donate my time and skills and be of value?  Will I sustain my value in the eyes of others as I age?  When do I stop working and how will my day-to-day change?

Whack-a-Mole

This has always been one of my favorite metaphors. It holds meaning for me especially during those times in my life when things happen seemingly outside my control. Like the carnival amusement game Whack-a-Mole, moles (or problems) pop-up their heads and I must react quickly so they don’t overtake me.  Life is like that sometimes. A series of events unfold, one right after another, until we may feel overwhelmed by the problems.

As I approach the Third Act in my life, a number of work and financial decisions face me. How I respond is important. The choices I make — the moles to be whacked —will determine the future quality of my life, what kind of work and how much longer will I need and want to work, where will I live, and how do I protect my health and care for myself as I age?

Juggling: When All the Balls Are in the Air

Most of us learn to metaphorically juggle early in our adult lives.  We must manage the competing spheres: Work, romantic relationships, children and family, friends, home, play, and finances. Add into the mix our need for exercise, spirituality, hobbies, recreation and time for ourselves. We usually have more competing “to-dos” than the time to do them and something that often falls off the list is planning for our future.

This is precisely where I find myself today. I can’t postpone life-planning any longer; I could run out of life at any time. In fact, I’m also at the crossroads that while I plan for the last chapter of my life, I also need to plan for my death,  so that I don’t saddle my family and loved ones with decisions for healthcare and end of life. I need to communicate clearly with those I leave behind what my expectations are for my final days and aftermath.  I’m grateful that I’m a member of a circle of LGBTQ friends in a Death and Dying Book and Discussion Group. In our Western culture talking about and preparing for death is one of our final taboos.

Final Thoughts

The reality is mixing metaphors is a natural part of life. Some days I feel like I’m trying to think outside and escape the boxes of my life, while other days the best I can do is whack the moles as they appear, and finally, I’ve been juggling all my adult life, sometimes with more success, and often I drop a ball or two, pick them up and try again.

Wish me luck!