“My life is better with every year of living it.” — Rachel Maddow
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Grateful. The past weekend I celebrated another trip around the sun, 365 days, one-day-at-a-time. Songs come to mind, the first from the soundtrack of my life as a young woman growing up in the fifties and sixties, Bob Dylan’s, My Back Pages, followed by memories of people, both here and gone, and my gratitude for their presence in my life, Rufus Wainwright’s cover of Who Knows Where the Time Goes?
Celebrating a birthday in January has its upside and downside. The upside: For me, a January birthday is another opportunity to review a year of my life, to reflect on both the gains and losses, the lessons learned, and to acknowledge my gratitude for the people who share it with me, and to reminisce about our lived experiences. It’s also a time to look ahead at the year in front of me, the remaining eleven-and-a-half months. It’s no coincidence that the month is named for Janus, the Roman God of new beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, doorways, passages, and endings.
The downside: People are generally weary of holidays and gatherings with family and friends, especially in the cold Midwestern winter, when we tend to hibernate and stay indoors. January is often a time when people begin resolutions, focus on themselves, new initiatives, and redirect their energy from the social to the personal, or restore and replenish what was expelled. I usually don’t have a birthday party or gathering, because I too need to do the latter. Normally, I don’t have the energy, or desire, to plan a party, invite friends, and coax them out of their cozy homes and pajamas. This year was different.
As a cinephile, I had anxiously been waiting for Steven Spielberg’s film about the Pentagon Papers, The Post, to premiere. Since it was opening in Madison the weekend of my birthday, I invited friends and family to join me for a matinee on Saturday afternoon and a post-film discussion. Much to my delight, almost two dozen people reserved seats near me and we filled almost two rows of the theater. I was greeted with hugs, birthdays cards, gifts, and more hugs, and to make the event and day even more special, for the first time in my life, people sang “Happy Birthday” to me in a movie theater!
The real gift of the day was the presence of my filmgoing companions and the memories that the movie evoked.
My Back Pages
2018 marks a milestone for me, 50 years since I graduated from high school, attended college, fell in love for the first time, asserted my independence as a young adult, became a social activist, and joined the ranks of the counterculture. The transformation began the summer of 1967 when I attended a high school journalism workshop at the University of Wisconsin – Madison. Cue up, Buffalo Springfield and For What It’s Worth.
Illustration: Tom Bachtell
When I arrived at University of Wisconsin – Madison that summer, I knew in that knowing place that Madison would become my home and that I wanted to be journalist and writer. I was the first editor of our high school newspaper as a junior at J. I. Case in Racine, Wisconsin. The paper was named “Just In Case” (I can take credit for the name and you can blame me for the play on words). When I did attend college, I majored in Journalism until I dropped out of school, and when I returned to college years later, I majored in Communication Arts.
Connecting the dots of the film, The Post, to my backstory: In 1971 when the Pentagon Papers were released by Daniel Ellsberg and first published by the NYT, followed by The Washington Post, I was a 21-year-old budding political-activist, college drop-out and newly married to Frank, my first love. Earlier, I dropped out of the University of Wisconsin following The Moratorium to End the War in Vietnam in 1969 when protesters marched in cities all over America. My education shifted from the classroom to the streets.
Photo Credit: Niko Tavernise.
Now to the film: Steven Spielberg, screenwriters, cinematographers, and actors bring the story to life. The movie takes place in 1971 and unfolds in a conventional linear narrative style to keep the audience on track. It was reminiscent for me of the studio movies from the 1940s and 1950s. John Williams score also telegraphed suspense and mystery, crescendos of emotion to complement the action.
The cast, featuring Meryl Streep as Katherine Graham, owner/publisher of The Post, and Tom Hanks as Ben Bradlee, executive editor, were in capable hands, however some of the feedback from filmgoing friends is that unknown, or lesser known actors may have delivered more nuanced and refreshing performances. It’s difficult to “suspend one’s disbelief” by watching these two revered and awarded actors perform while their celebrity is ever present. The supporting cast was pitch perfect and as an ensemble compelling and credible.
The themes couldn’t be timelier, misogyny in the workplace, the government misleading the public and hiding the truth, and the free press fighting to reveal the truth and represent the governed, not the governors. There is an impassioned speech near the end of the film which connects the dots of the lessons of history and the challenges we face today to protect freedom of the press and democracy.
The film was an opportunity like Janus, my birthday month’s namesake, to take a look back at my journey here today, highlighting my work life. I worked for many years in the printing and graphic arts industries, first screen-printing, and later, offset, web, lithographic and digital printing. I was a print buyer and worked in the recycled gift wrap, publishing, and public relations fields.
I spent many days and nights conducting press checks, watching large web presses roll, after the head pressman pushed the button and the alarm sounded so people would clear out of the way as the presses sped up. I can still smell the ink and paper, and remember the craftsmen and women I worked with in those industries. When the metal type was set and the presses rolled in The Post, it was music to my ears. How could I not love this film?
Who Knows Where the Time Goes?
Like any journey around the sun, anniversaries recycle, some joyful, some sorrowful, celebrations like birthdays, holidays, and special occasions, and also days marked by grief associated with people who have died, or from whom we may be estranged — the beginnings and endings. The upcoming week includes one for my family and I, the death of our mother. This weekend, we gather together to remember her and support each other. Though we may let go of loved ones in life, they live on in our memories, stories, and shared experiences. Grateful.
As a sexagenarian who reached my young adulthood in the late sixties, graduating from high school in 1968, leaving home, and attending college, this year marks the anniversary of many benchmarks: Political events, assassinations, and protests, which helped influence the person I am today and informed my values and choices.
What’s Ahead?
Like Janus, I look ahead, as well as behind. What lies in front me are creative endeavors and a look at what my legacy will be when I leave this material world, and say goodbye to family, loved ones, and friends. I’m following my muse and stretching myself, overcoming fears and resistance about failing. There’s not enough time left to be tentative about living fully and present in each moment, each day. I’m making amends as quickly as I’m able, so I don’t leave unfinished business, or things left unsaid. It’s taken my entire adult life, 50 years, to arrive at this moment in time.
Finally, I return to the quotes that introduced this essay, which capture the joy and gratitude that infuses my life today. Life is good. I’m grateful. Thanks, H.P.!
“My life is better with every year of living it.” — Rachel Maddow
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Additional Reading from Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!
Ethel Mae’s Garden: A Mother’s Legacy
With a Little Help from My Friends
The Loud Family Loses a Loved One
Thanks for the Mixed Metaphor, LInda, and belated birthday greetings! Soon I will run into you – not literally – at the Wisconsin Film Festival. I itch already for my choices…..
Lewis