“It’s back to normal, but it’s a different normal. It’s not the same as it was before, but people are getting back to work. Life goes on. ― Eric Young
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ― Maya Angelou
On May 1st it’s back to life, a return to some degree of normal, however, it will certainly be different, a new normal. I return to work and begin a new job as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate. I’m grateful.
Back to Life
As I write, it’s April 28th. Two months ago, it was the first day that I was socially distanced, not due to COVID-19, instead I was laid-off from my job of 12 years. In the past few years, I transitioned as an older worker from full to part-time ― from a salaried business development manager ― to an hourly administrative and sales support position. When a company-wide reorganization occurred, I was a casualty in a manner of speaking.
February 27th was my final day of work. To read more about that experience, see Dispatch from the Hideout: Social Distancing at the end of this essay. The unexpected confluence for me personally, was it also marked the beginning of my social distancing as I stayed at home and sheltered-in-place in response to the community spread of coronavirus.
What seemed at first to be bad news, losing my part-time job which augmented my monthly social security (I didn’t plan well for my future), I reframed it as, an opportunity disguised as bad news. The first two weeks of March I ventured out in the world to register with Workforce Development to meet the requirement for unemployment compensation. I also interviewed for two different positions including follow-up in-person and by phone, plus I posted my resume and applied online to open positions, also a requirement to collect unemployment compensation.
In the end, I was negotiating two different jobs, one with a community meeting, event, and coworking center in a part-time marketing and promotions position, and the job I accepted with OutReach, the Madison, Wisconsin, LGBT Community Center as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate. Friday, May 1st I have my virtual new employee HR onboarding meeting, plus an in-person orientation with the center’s director. Back to life.
Before I completely sheltered-in-place, for the exception of grocery shopping, pharmacy visits, and drive-thru banking and restaurant carryout, on March 15th, I enjoyed my last brunch and hugs with friends. The only other in-person contact I’ve had was a couple of days later when I visited my sister’s family, delivered birthday cards outdoors for my niece and nephew, maintained our six-foot distance, and elbow-bumped with my brother-in-law.
Looking Back, Looking Forward
Looking Back: As a reminiscence writer, I often look back at the past nostalgically, sometimes sentimentalizing memories in the service of the tale I’m telling. I’ve been known to sand-off the rough edges of some experiences while sharpening others. There’s some debate about memoir-writing being a hybrid of fact and fiction. We each remember the past through our own lens. Our individual point of view and how we process our emotions in response to the same events creates unique remembrances.
Memoir-Writer & Blogger
My elderly father is 90-years-old and still lives alone in my childhood home in Racine, Wisconsin where our parents raised their six kids. I’m the eldest and a baby boomer. We have a standing phone date on Sunday mornings when we check-in with each other. Since the coronavirus pandemic has changed the way we spend time with loved ones, I haven’t seen him since January. My sister Kelly and her husband, Bill are his primary and exclusive caretakers and visitors. I also now call him mid-week to stay in touch. I hope I can visit him in June for Father’s Day. It’s tricky since we want him to remain healthy.
When we talked this past Sunday, he mentioned that our longstanding neighbors, the Brandt’s 95-year-old mother, Dorothy, passed away this month. This leaves our father as the elder of the neighborhood, who’s lived there the longest. Dad’s memory is still intact and he often shares the oral history of Hayes Avenue with me. It’s one of my favorite things about our relationship.
Dorothy and her husband Del Brandt raised a brood of kids who were our friends growing up including, Jane, Joan, Jacque, Chuck, Peggy and Stephen. Dorothy and Del were always welcoming. We lived in a post-World War II neighborhood of small Cape Cod-style starter homes which looked alike except for some small details, some featured bay windows, dormers, or floor-to-ceiling windows. Since we were baby boomers in the 1950s and 1960s, we could easily recruit a gaggle of kids for backyard games and we created some of my most cherished childhood memories.
Family Home
As a person of a certain age, I often look back at my past and remember times, people, and experiences long gone. After taking a number of reminiscence-writing courses, I began drafting a memoir, Perfectly Flawed. Soon I created a blog, Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! From the introduction Why I Write:
First, I consider myself a journalist, not the fact-checking, who, what, where, and when kind of reporter – but the gut-checking – why did this, or why is this happening to me or others and what can I learn from the experience – activist-essayist and memoirist. I keep journals, write memoirs and personal narratives as a record of my journey.
How does this connect to the subject at hand, back to life? For me it’s the most recent ― and personal example ― of how life is changing as we look back and look forward. We will not be able to return to life as normal. We will return to life to a new normal that we imagine and create.
Dorothy Brandt’s death is a perfect example of the new normal. When I heard the news, I looked back at my catalog of cherished memories growing up as a child. Years earlier, I had written a reminiscence for my blog about my childhood neighborhood and the gaggle of kids who were my friends including the Brandt’s. You can read it by selecting the link to Boomer’s Playground at the end of this essay. I also include two related pieces, The Ties That Bind, and A Pocketful of Gumballs.
Looking forward: Because communities, including families, are sheltering-in-place during the pandemic, Mrs. Brandt’s visitation and service was physically-limited to a small number of immediate family. To open the event to family members, friends, and neighbors who couldn’t attend the service, they videotaped and posted a link to the service. For a period moving forward, this is just one example of the new normal.
The New Normal
“There are those fleeting and beautiful moments now ― that calm space between fear and panic. It is the utter acceptance of what is, and what is waiting for us on the other side of all this. It’s those pristine ethereal minutes when a song takes us over, or art consumes us with some grand vision of ancient wisdom. Our ears finally really hear, our eyes see, it all makes sense and the confusion is finally just simply gone. We all blink ― simultaneously and see ― for the first innocent minute in this new tomorrow. We finally can process all the beauty our eyes have missed before right now. We pause, breathe deep, and find ourselves grateful for that new beginning. Wake up.” ― A Facebook update by artist and friend, Leslie Phillips
An example of a new normal is yesterday I had a virtual Telemed appointment with my primary care doctor for my annual physical (in Medicare-speak, ‘Wellness Visit’). It was both my doctor’s and my own, first medical appointment of this kind. We both commented that this will be the future of non-emergency and non-surgical healthcare delivery. A plus for me: I was able to keep my clothes on! On Friday, I also have my new employee onboarding meeting for my new position which begins in May.
Wellness Visit
For most us, for the exception of first responders, healthcare providers, and the essential workers who continue to supply the services and fulfill the needs of a society, we’ve had ample time to reflect on our lives and what’s important. Because of job loss or being furloughed, those of us not working from home, are still only able to fulfill the very foundation of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, food, shelter, and safety and it would be a luxury to consider anything more.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
For me, as I’ve mentioned before, I consider myself an ambivert on the continuum of striking balance between social contact and solitary time. Since I live alone, I’ve had no problem meeting the needs of the latter. I’m missing friends, family, creative collaborators, and the daily interactions with neighbors, coworkers, and community.
It’s my hope that as we get back to life and imagine and create a new normal, we will have discovered what’s truly important, that we are not simply small closed-off families and communities, but we’re interdependent and one world. It’s my wish that the new normal includes commitments to climate change, that we share resources and wealth, protect vulnerable people, share power equitably, and not hoard it in the hands of a few privileged people, that we provide healthcare and educational opportunities for all, and compensate people who are essential workers instead of rewarding corporations, CEO’s, and stockholders. I hope we support the arts and the people and organizations that serve the greater good.
Pandemic Venn Diagram
On a personal level, we each have a second chance to reimagine our lives.
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ― Maya Angelou
Related Reading from Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!
Dispatch from the Hideout: Stirred Crazy
Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Easter Holiday
Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Pandemic Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Social Distancing
Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation
Hibernation & the Holidays: Retreat to the Hideout
Another Dispatch from the Hideout
Additional Reading
Prepare for the Ultimate Gaslighting
The coronavirus pandemic could push telemedicine into the future
As always, Linda, a superb job. No better journalist than “thou,” in my humble opinion [every time I use the word “humble,” i want to kick myself, but it comes with the word-smithing territory…. Lewis.
Full disclosure: Lewis, I’m blushing. Thank you again for your kind words, which mean the world to me coming from a poet, writer, and so much more…