A Shot in the Arm: A stimulus or booster, something vitalizing or encouraging — Dictionary.com
Like many anniversaries, the date you choose to celebrate, or mark a year, depends on how you count and what date you choose. For romantic relationships, some people will choose the date they met, their first kiss, or when they made love the first time, sometimes it’s when someone declares, “I love you.”
The anniversary of the COVID-19 Pandemic is similar in that there are a number of dates to choose from, depending on what country you live in, the degree of truth or disinformation delivered by the leaders, the weight and influence given to the medical and science community, and the impact of commerce over health concerns.
The World Health Organization (WHO) was often criticized at the beginning of the pandemic for their inaction early on, as well as officials in Wuhan, China. The COVID-19 virus was first reported to WHO on December 31, 2019. On January 30, 2020, WHO declared COVID-19 a Global Health Emergency. Finally, on March 11, 2020 WHO officially recognized COVID-19 as a Global Pandemic. One year, not a Happy Anniversary.
For those new to my Dispatch from the Hideout series:
I began my Dispatch from the Hideout as a one-off essay in July 2017 to describe my reaction to events in the world and my need to retreat. I was also grieving the losses in my life, the most recent at the time was my mother’s death in 2016. I introduced the series as follows:
Now, before I go any further, it’s important that I share with you that my hideout is a virtual one. I don’t have a cabin in the woods, or a bunker in the basement, I only have my home, a 645 square foot apartment. It’s where I wake up in the morning, retreat at the end of the work day, hideout on the weekends when I’m writing or feeling introverted, and end my days, often falling asleep on the couch watching TV. Yeah, I’m that girl. I live alone and most days I’m happy with that choice.
I discovered that the Dispatch from the Hideout metaphor was a useful vehicle for me to express innermost feelings, like grief and gratitude, moments when I faced my shadow, or questioned my choices, plus the times when I reflected on the larger world of which I’m simply a member, navigating things outside of my control, yet still have an impact on my heart, mind, and spirit. The Hideout metaphor served me and soon became a series.
Circling back to the end of February and the COVID-19 pandemic I was forced to spend more time in the Hideout to protect my physical health, safer-at-home, I soon discovered that the isolation also affected my mental. emotional, and spiritual health. When the Wisconsin Historical Society launched the Wisconsin Historical Society COVID-19 Journal Project, I was all in and to date, including this essay, I’ve contributed fourteen installments, about my experience as I shelter-in-place, plus the three musings that preceded them.
There are links to the entire Dispatch series at the end of this essay.
My Pandemic Year
I have a number of dates I could choose from to mark the anniversary of my pandemic year. Here are some options:
- February 28th – The first day after I was laid-off from my 12-year career, first as a Business Development Center Manager, and later, when I transitioned to half-time, as an Administrative Assistant and Internet Sales Support. The reason was a company reorganization however, I sometimes wonder if it was my age and/or progressive politics. I began a self-imposed lockdown while I began looking for a new job. (Read more in Dispatch from the Hideout: Social Distancing).
- March 11th – WHO officially recognized COVID-19 as a Global Pandemic.
- March 16th – Over the course of the six days leading up to St. Patrick’s Day, I had my last in-person connections with friends and family. On March 11th, breakfast with my ex at the Original Pancake House in Monona, WI (now permanently closed), March 15th I had brunch with two of my friends and chosen family members, when I talked nonstop as if I’d never get a chance again and received my last hugs. The next day I visited my sister Tami and her family, my niece Gemma for her birthday, nephew Quinn and my brother-in-law, Ron. We met outside and didn’t hug. I elbow-bumped Ron.
- March 12th – Yesterday, I received my second Pfizer COVID-19 vaccination. The shot in the arm was literally and metaphorically a stimulus or booster, something vitalizing or encouraging. Yesterday is the date I choose as the anniversary of my pandemic year. Grateful and hopeful.
What I’ve Learned
The past 13 years I’ve lived alone. This turned out to be excellent training on how to thrive as I sheltered-in-place. My years of recovery gave me the tools I needed to be resilient and take life a day at a time, to let go of the things outside of my control (easier said than done!). I possess valuable skills and experience. I was able to find a new half-time job, which aligned with my years of activism and volunteering. I have everything that I need, a home, food in my pantry, financial security (at least for today), the love of friends and family, and a power greater than myself which provides solace and serenity when I need it. I’m grateful. Yes, I’m also lucky.
From Dispatch from the Hideout: The End Is Here!
Years of living alone helped me become resilient, adapt to change, able to weather the ups and downs of what has been described this year as a ‘coronacoaster.’ See Dispatch from the Hideout: Riding the Coronacoaster.
We’ve all been tested this year mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually. Speaking for myself, I’ve learned what’s important to me, loved ones and our larger community. During the holidays, I didn’t travel and celebrate with family and friends in-person, except in brief hellos and hand-offs of gifts.
Early on during the pandemic in mid-March, I made decisions to socially distance from friends and family. As part of my preparation to be safer-at-home, I drafted a daily gratitude post on social media, as a way of training myself to look at my life and the glass half-full. It helped.
In addition to my family in Madison, my sister, her husband, and their two kids, I formed a quarantine bubble of a small number of friends. We called ourselves the Pod Squad, and we shared meals and celebrations safely, including a scaled-back high school graduation, wedding ceremony, and birthday outdoors, or in a garage, masked, while socially distancing. Later some of us met outdoors on a deck and again in chilly weather in the garage with the doors open, to share a meal and catch up with each other. Read more in Dispatch from the Hideout: Quarantine Bubble Edition.
In the end, it wasn’t always easy, but it was always worth the effort.
Some days were challenging.
Grief & Gratitude
It’s been a year when grief and gratitude have gone hand-in-hand. I’m at an age when this is the template for the future too. I’m grateful I celebrated another birthday in January, my 71st and I’m full of grief remembering my friends, family, and loved ones who are no longer present in my life except in memory. The thing about grief and loss, is that we re-experience every death, every loss, with each new letting go.
My sister Cindy died from Stage IV Cancer on my birthday two years ago, reminding me of two things. First, how grateful I am that Cindy was my sister, and second that I was lucky enough to live another year to celebrate the anniversary of my birth. This date will forever be a reminder for me of beginnings and endings, the cycle of life. Grief and gratitude, hand-in-hand.
January and February are the anniversaries of my sister Cindy’s death in 2019, my mother’s death in 2016, and in February both Cindy’s and Mom’s birthdays. This past year, I’ve been grateful for the essential workers who tirelessly sacrificed time with their own families to work long and extra shifts in hospitals, to protect and serve, stock grocery shelves, deliver food and the goods we needed to remain safely at home.
Early in the pandemic many healthcare workers struggled to be protected from the virus, lacking sufficient PPE. Minimum wage workers could barely pay their own bills, yet worked long hours and multiple jobs while still becoming early victims of COVID-19. Black, brown and indigenous families experienced more than their share of loss, sometimes taking the lives of multiple family members from the same household.
In the past year, we averaged one death every minute, every hour, for a year. Over 525,600 Americans died, equal to all the lives lost in both World Wars, Viet Nam, and 9/11.
I’m grateful that, to-date, my extended family members and close friends are still alive, though once I expand that circle of friends and acquaintances, like others, I’ve grieved the loss of people I’ve known in life.
The Road Ahead
Now that I’m vaccinated, and as my friends, family, and loved ones become vaccinated, I have renewed hope for the future. It’s been a shot in the arm. We will never return to our pre-pandemic lives, because we will forever be survivors of a global pandemic. We will remember how our government failed us early on and lives were lost, yet in the end saved some of us with the advances of science and rapid development and deployment of vaccines.
For the most part, we replaced commerce and partisan politics with science and personal responsibility, disinformation with truth, and broken promises with hope. Some of our American citizens continue to embrace the big lie, white supremacy, and conspiracy theories, including elected officials.
Biden Address on March 11, 2021
We will forge a new future, a new normal. We will need to remain vigilant, practicing behaviors to keep the public safe and healthy, protect voting rights, and elect people in all levels of government that are tasked to work for the greater good rather than fill their own coffers and stoke their individual political power.
Our work is now just beginning. Most of us survived Our Pandemic Year, now we need to heal and build a future where everyone can thrive. Today we celebrate. Tomorrow we go to work!
Looking ahead with hope and gratitude.
Dispatch from the Hideout Series COVID-19 Journal
Dispatch from the Hideout: Love in a Pandemic
Dispatch from the Hideout: The End Is Here!
Dispatch from the Hideout: Riding the Coronacoaster
Dispatch from the Hideout: Staycation Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Letter to Loved Ones
Dispatch from the Hideout: Quarantine Bubble Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: What Was, What Will Be
Dispatch from the Hideout: Back to Life
Dispatch from the Hideout: Stirred Crazy
Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Easter Holiday
Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Pandemic Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Social Distancing
Additional Reading from Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!
Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation
Hibernation & the Holidays: Retreat to the Hideout
Another Dispatch from the Hideout
The Itchy Restlessness of Spring Fever
Related Reading on Our Pandemic Year