“Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
My, oh, my, what a wonderful day
Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!”
[Song composed by Allie Wrubel with lyrics by Ray Gilbert for the Disney 1946 live action and animated movie Song of the South, sung by James Baskett.]
First, I took some liberty with the happy song from my childhood for the title of this installment of the Dispatch from the Hideout series, to express optimism about the relief and restoration I hope to experience from my upcoming hip-replacement surgery.
A note about the movie that featured the song: It was considered by the NAACP as racist and released this statement, “…in an effort neither to offend audiences in the North or South, the production helps to perpetuate a dangerously glorified picture of slavery … [the film] unfortunately gives the impression of an idyllic master-slave relationship, which is a distortion of the facts.” To read more about the film and the controversy it caused, Song of the South: 12 Things to Know About Disney’s Most Controversial Movie.
For New Readers of Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! (& Refresher for Regular Readers)
I’m a baby boomer in my early 70s and I was born in Wisconsin. I’m the eldest child of six from a working-class family. I’ve lived in Madison since 1974, and consider myself a feminist and progressive liberal. My pronouns are she, her, hers, and I identify as a lesbian. I’m single by choice and live alone. I work half-time since I didn’t plan well for my future and I’m my sole supporter. I’ve been in recovery for over 35 years from alcohol, substances, and behaviors that no longer serve me. I’m a reminiscence-writer, storyteller, blogger, poet, amateur stand-up comedian, cinephile and social activist.
I’ve stayed healthy (free from COVID-19) during the past two-and-a-half years. I’m considered to be both a COVID virgin and target (still susceptible to infection). Gratefully, I recently received the Bivalent COVID-19 Booster, plus my annual full vaccine. My goal, leading up to my hip-replacement surgery, is to remain free of COVID and as healthy as I’m able so my surgery is not postponed. I will practice many of the behaviors since the pandemic began. A shout out to my Pod Squad, my quarantine bubble of friends, family, and work colleagues, who support me to remain healthy and will assist in my upcoming surgery and recovery. To quote, Hillary Clinton, “It takes a village.”
Dispatch from the Hideout: The COVID-19 Journal Project
Circling back to the end of February 2020 and the COVID-19 pandemic I was forced to spend more time in the Hideout to protect my physical health, safer-at-home, I soon discovered that the isolation also affected my mental. emotional, and spiritual health. When the Wisconsin Historical Society launched the Wisconsin Historical Society COVID-19 Journal Project, I was all in and to date, including this essay, I’ve contributed twenty-one installments about my experience as I sheltered-in-place, plus the three musings that preceded them. When you click on the links under Dispatch from the Hideout COVID-19 Journal Series at the end of this essay, you can read the entire series, if you wish (soon to be a book).
For those new to my Dispatch from the Hideout series:
I began my Dispatch from the Hideout as a one-off essay in July 2017 to describe my reaction to events in the world and my need to retreat. I was also grieving the losses in my life, the most recent at the time was my mother’s death in 2016. I introduced the series as follows:
Now, before I go any further, it’s important that I share with you that my hideout is a virtual one. I don’t have a cabin in the woods, or a bunker in the basement, I only have my home, a 645 square foot apartment. It’s where I wake up in the morning, retreat at the end of the work day, hideout on the weekends when I’m writing or feeling introverted, and end my days, often falling asleep on the couch watching TV. Yeah, I’m that girl. I live alone and most days I’m happy with that choice.
I discovered that the Dispatch from the Hideout metaphor was a useful vehicle for me to express innermost feelings, like grief and gratitude, moments when I faced my shadow, or questioned my choices, plus the times when I reflected on the larger world of which I’m simply a member, navigating things outside of my control, yet still have an impact on my heart, mind, and spirit. The Hideout metaphor served me and soon became a series.
The Backstory (or Should I Say, Hip Story)
My hip-replacement surgery is scheduled for December 8, 2022. For nearly a decade, the pain in my knee and the subsequent ‘limp’ it created when I walked, I assumed I’d need a knee-replacement, like my brother who had both knees done. When my knee was x-rayed a couple of years ago it was determined that I had mild osteoarthritis and I was not a candidate for surgery. Osteoarthritis runs in my family so again, I assumed I was simply another unlucky recipient of this genetic condition and would live with the chronic pain.
I limped around for another couple of years. Soon, I avoided stairs, and when I needed to use them, I took them one at a time, especially going down when I was bearing weight on my left knee. I cut-back, or stopped doing activities which used to give me pleasure, hiking, the Dane County Farmers Market, the Wisconsin Film Festival which required lots of stairs in the parking garage on campus, walking some distances, then standing in lines for the films for a period of time.
Regular routines like housecleaning didn’t happen as often since it required days when I had minimal pain. I learned firsthand that weather and barometric pressure could determine what level of activity I could accomplish. Inflammation became a debilitating reality. When I went grocery shopping, I’d need a day to recover from the pain I experienced from walking on hard surfaces. Oh, My!
My primary care doctor prescribed weight reduction and increased exercise, eat less, exercise more! I did lose some weight the first year of the pandemic when many others put on a couple of pounds, however, I confess I didn’t exercise and was actually less active, due to the isolation I spent at home during the pandemic and the additional time I spent on the couch watching TV. Yes, I’m that girl!
Gratefully, at the end of the summer in 2021, my doctor referred me to UW Sports Medicine Osteoarthritis & Orthopedic Clinic. I was assigned a team of four clinicians, an orthopedic PA who did an extensive assessment with me, a physical therapist, a nutritionist, and a psychologist to address the causes of my reluctance to exercise. Yes, again, I’m that girl!
For the remainder of 2021, I continued with follow-up appointments, some virtual, some in-person, I did P.T. exercises for a brief period of time, purchased an under-the-desk elliptical exercise bike, which full disclosure, I never used, but needed to periodically dust. I began a Mediterranean diet which helps minimize inflammation and is considered by most nutritionists as the healthiest diet. I lost approximately 20 pounds.
Under the desk elliptical exerciser bike.
In my conversations with the psychologist, she asked me to talk about my resistance to exercise and issues with compulsive eating, their origins growing up in my alcoholic family. Yikes! She assigned me an exercise, draft a Trauma Timeline. I approached it like an A.A. 12-Step inventory. I won’t share the details here, yet it was a reminder of the impacts of adverse childhood experiences and the legacy they create in adulthood.
In January 2022, I cancelled appointments since in addition to my half-time position as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate, I was training to be a Wisconsin Certified Peer-Specialist (WCPS). For the month of January, mornings were WCPS training, afternoons work, and two evenings a week I facilitated and participated in recovery meetings. I didn’t exercise, I ‘fell’ off the diet-wagon, and since it was winter, I was in a lot of osteoarthritic pain. Things got worse, not better.
This past spring when I had my Medicare Annual Wellness visit, my primary care doctor reviewed my lack of progress and the increased degree to which I was limiting activities which gave me pleasure or were necessary for daily living and mobility. I had started using a cane as recommended by my osteoarthritis team. During a follow-up appointment in July, I requested a handicap/disabled parking card for my car. With some reluctance, my doctor approved it, signed the paperwork, yet encouraged me to use it only when I needed to. She ordered x-rays of my hip and knees.
A few days later, My Chart posted the results: Severe osteoarthritis of the left hip. No fracture or compression or malalignment is identified. Complete loss of the superior joint space of the left hip with bone-on-bone apposition, remodeling of the femoral head and acetabulum, subchondral sclerosis/cystic change and juxta-articular osteophytosis. Mild narrowing and osteophytosis of the right hip. Unremarkable pubic symphysis and sacroiliac joints. Mild to moderate degenerative changes of the lower lumbar spine and lumbosacral junction. Soft tissues are within normal limits. Yikes, that can’t be good.
Again, my doctor offered additional P.T. treatment. Instead, I made an appointment with one of the Orthopedic surgeons at the UW Sports Medicare Orthopedic Clinic.
Hip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah!
Gratefully, I have Medicare and a Medicare Supplemental Insurance plan. I pay a high monthly premium however; the plan covers deductibles plus additional coverage. The plan allows me to select any doctor or clinic who accepts Medicare, and does not require a referral. One reason I continue to work half-time is to afford a medical insurance plan that doesn’t prevent me from seeking care when I need it. At some point when I’m no longer able to work, I’ll switch to an affordable Medicare Advantage plan with deductibles and copays.
I made my appointment and saw an orthopedic surgeon in September. First, I was examined by a resident who did an assessment of my mobility and asked questions about my hip and its affect on my quality of life. Next, the surgeon, confident and warm. He reviewed the notes from the resident, and posted the x-rays of my hip. First, he pointed out my right hip and said that I still had cartilage and showed me what that looked like and commented my right hip is in good shape, for now.
Next, he pointed to the left hip and simply said, “It’s bad!” There’s no cartilage remaining, my hip is bone-on-bone, and I also have a bone spur. He showed me that the ‘ball’ of the joint should be rounded, mine is flat from grinding it down. No wonder I walk like I do and have chronic pain. It’s not ‘all in my head,’ it’s in my hip! Following are the My Chart notes from the appointment.
Diagnosis: X-rays of the left hip demonstrate severe arthritis with complete joint space loss, subchondral sclerosis and cysts, as well as osteophytes.
Assessment: Patient with significant left hip pain and primary osteoarthritis adversely affecting their quality of life.
Plan:
- Patient has tried reasonable non-surgical treatment options for hip pain: yes
- Patient is medically appropriate/optimized for hip replacement surgery: yes
- Patient is candidate for same day discharge hip replacement: no
- Patient and I discussed the alternatives to as well as the pros and cons, realistic expectations, potential complications, recovery associated with hip replacement surgery.
I left with a two-sided 30-page presentation on preparing for and recovering from hip-replacement surgery. A few days later I scheduled a series of pre-surgery appointments including a COVID-19 test prior to surgery. My surgery is scheduled for December 8th.
It Takes a Village
Since I’m single and live alone, I’ve made plans with family, chosen family, friends, and Pod Squad members to assist prior to surgery, helping me prepare my home for a walker or crutches while I recover. My go-to ‘person’ for the day of surgery, Leanne, is locked down, an ex and chosen family member, Tracy, will bring me home from my one to two-day post-surgery hospital stay if there are no complications. She’ll stay with me the first night. She is also a physical therapist and will attend the pre-surgery appointment with me and post-surgery she’ll assist me with physical therapy appointments and exercises, keeping me accountable. A number of friends have volunteered to donate the use of a walker, run errands, or prepare meals. I’m lucky and grateful.
I’ve been reviewing the two-sided, 30-page hip-replacement document and I’ve begun making pre-and post- surgery to-do lists. I’m getting all my legal paperwork reviewed and prepared. My Power of Medical Attorney, Power of Legal Attorney, and finally draft a will with the help of an amazing attorney. Once all the paperwork is complete, I’ll schedule a day to spend with my sister Tami who will be both my Power of Medical and Legal Attorney. We’ll share a meal, family stories, and I’ll remind Tami NOT to delete my journals or blog! They’re my legacy.
I’m a member of a Death & Dying Group (it’s more about life and living). One of our activities, in addition to the readings, Ted Talks, videos, and end-of-life materials we review and discuss, we drafted our own obituaries. I failed at the task. Mine was more about a ‘human doing,’ the things I did in life, rather than who I was as a human being. Instead, I drafted an installment of the Dispatch from the Hideout series, to communicate the conversations I may not have the opportunity to have with friends, family, both bio and chosen, and others who I’ve shared this journey in life, Letter to Loved Ones.
Leading up to the surgery, I’m incorporating many of the COVID-19 practices of the past two-and-a-half years, avoiding large indoor activities and events, wearing my mask in public places like grocery stores and the pharmacy, etc. Hopefully, if all goes well, after surgery and a one-to-two-day hospital stay, recovery at home will be about 3-4 weeks before I can drive and return to work. I may be able to work from home during some of the time.
Pandemic 2.0-Photo Credit: Getty Images
The surgeon said, if it’s a success, I should be able to do the activities that give my life quality and meaning. In addition, I might dust more often, and if I’m smart and disciplined, make exercise and a healthy diet a regular routine of my life.
“Hip-a-dee-doo-dah, hip-a-dee-ay
My, oh, my, what a wonderful day
Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
Hip-a-dee-doo-dah, hip-a-dee-ay!
Dispatch from the Hideout COVID-19 Journal Series
(In order of most recent to oldest)
Dispatch from the Hideout: Love in a Pandemic 2.0
Dispatch from the Hideout: Omicron Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Pod Squad 2.0
Dispatch from the Hideout: Two Steps Back
Dispatch from the Hideout: My Post-Pandemic Life
Dispatch from the Hideout: Exit Strategy
Dispatch from the Hideout: A Shot in the Arm
Dispatch from the Hideout: Love in a Pandemic
Dispatch from the Hideout: The End Is Here!
Dispatch from the Hideout: Riding the Coronacoaster
Dispatch from the Hideout: Staycation Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Letter to Loved Ones
Dispatch from the Hideout: Quarantine Bubble Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: What Was, What Will Be
Dispatch from the Hideout: Back to Life
Dispatch from the Hideout: Stirred Crazy
Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Easter Holiday
Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Pandemic Edition
Dispatch from the Hideout: Social Distancing
Additional Installments of the Dispatch from the Hideout Series
Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation