Living the mole life

Nov 01 2015

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“…we can’t live in the light all of the time. You have to take whatever light you can hold into the dark with you.” ― Libba Bray, A Great and Terrible Beauty

Last night was Halloween, also known as Hallow’s Eve or Samhain, the Celtic festival that bridges fall and winter, when people light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts and the darkness. On State Street here in Madison, Wisconsin it was Freakfest. Before we went to bed, we turned our clocks back an hour; it was the last day of Daylight Saving Time (DST) and though we gained an extra hour of sleep, we begin living the mole life again. Continue reading →

Tagged Autumn, Changing of the Seasons, Circadian Clock, Darkness, Daylight Saving Time, Depression, DST, Light, SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Seasons, Spring, Summer, Winter

Nov 03 2019

1 Comment

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Comfort Food: Winter Blues, Holidays, & Weight Gain

“Food is a lot of people’s therapy — when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It’s releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.” — Brett Hoebel

“Comfort food is the food that makes us feel good — satisfied, calm, cared for and carefree. It’s food that fills us up both mentally and physically. Finding comfort in food is a basic human experience.” — Ellie Krieger

Last night, I turned the clocks back an hour. This morning the sun rose earlier and tonight it will set sooner. Daylight Savings Time is over and regardless of your views on its merits — or not — for me it’s the onset of Living the Mole Life, a season characterized by comfort foods, winter blues, the holidays, and weight gain. I isolate, sleep, and eat more than I do the rest of the year. I basically hibernate and retreat to my hideout. Continue reading →

Tagged Autumn, Comfort Foods, Family, Friends, Hibernate, Holiday Parties, Holidays, Home, Mother, Potlucks, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Seasons, Weight Gain, Winter, Winter Blues

Sep 12 2019

1 Comment

Posts

Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation

“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.” ― Albert Camus

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ― C.G. Jung

Though it’s not officially autumn yet, I feel the urge to go underground, to hibernate prematurely. Like caterpillars who cocoon in a chrysalis and emerge in a new form as a butterfly, it’s my desire to find a safe place to enable transformation.

The world seems like it’s becoming more threatening, whether it’s our natural world and the consequences of climate change, or our political environment and the actions and policies by those currently in power. On a personal level, things sometime happen to us — and for me — how I respond makes a difference in my emotional and spiritual health and serenity. While there are storms happening outside of me, there’s also turmoil and uncertainty stirring within. Continue reading →

Tagged AA, Ambivert, Autumn, Changing of the Seasons, Couples Therapy, Death, Dispatch from the Hideout, Family, Home, Isolate, Legacy, Mental Health, Premature Hibernation, Recovery, Relationships, Therapy, Underground, Winter

Mar 23 2019

3 Comments

Posts

Creatures of Habit: Harbingers of Spring

“What I’ve learned, the lessons from keeping and rereading journals, is that I’m a creature of habit. Though I allow my imagination to wander and travel places like a free spirit, I’m pretty earthbound and sensitive to the changing of the seasons, the length of daylight in a day, the heat of the sun on skin, the relationship of the stars and moon to our planet, the color of grass and leaves, the smell of the breeze as it changes from the smoky potpourri of autumn to the chilled neutrality of winter, followed by the musky odor of newly-turned earth and fragrant scent of flowers blooming in spring. And, finally, the conscious and unconscious cycles of life.” — An excerpt from the introduction of Seasons/Change, one of my poetry chapbooks. Continue reading →

Tagged Creatures of Habit, Daylight Savings Time, Films, Full Moon, Harbingers of Spring, Seasons, Signs of Spring, Spring, Spring Equinox, Spring Fever, Supermoon, The Changing of the Seasons, Wisconsin Film Festival

Aug 27 2017

Posts

Seasons/Change

“Memories recycle of seasons past
of people absent and places far away.
I soothe myself with the solace of ritual.
There is comfort in repetition
and wonder in change.” — From the poem, The Solace of Ritual, Linda Lenzke

It has been and continues to be a hellavu week, a reminder of the power of nature — the relationship of the sun, moon, and earth — and how it impacts the weather. Beginning this past Monday in North America, we witnessed the total or partial eclipse of the sun, depending on where we landed on, or near, the path of totality. Continue reading →

Tagged Autumn, Change, Changing of the Seasons, Hurricane Harvey, Midwest, Seasons, Snow, Snow Days, Solar Eclipse, Spring, Spring Fever, Staycation, Summer, Winter

Sep 27 2024

2 Comments

Posts

Things Change

“There is nothing permanent except change.” — Heraclitus

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” —Alan Watts

As a person of a certain age — my favorite euphemism for old —change is an undeniable truth of life. As I write, it’s the eve of autumn, the changing of the seasons, and the day before a memorial service for a coworker, confidant, and friend. Things Change has also been the theme of this year, and the title of my 17th annual journal, which begin in September. It’s also the final chapter of my life — no longer a dress rehearsal — yet an opportunity “To change the things I can” and leave a legacy behind, the measure of my life. Continue reading →

Tagged Culture, Death, Family, Father, Friends, Gratitude, Health, Holidays, Home, Loss, Love, Madison, Mother, Racine, Recovery, Relationships, Technology, Things Change, Work

Oct 26 2023

3 Comments

Posts

The Last Closet Door: Act I

Public Life: Open the Last Closet Door

“All human beings have three lives, a public life, a private life, and a secret life.” Hamill added, “A private life is by invitation only. A secret life is nobody’s business.” — Pete Hamill

“You can’t be what you can’t see.” — Martha Popp

The two quotes above express opposing viewpoints and values. Hamill’s quote speaks to the importance of delineating and protecting our three lives: public, private, and secret. Popp’s quote affirms the importance of being visible and open in the world. Both have served me. Continue reading →

Tagged AIS, Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, CAIS, Every Body, Everything in Between, Healing from Shame, Intersex, Intersex Awareness Day, Living Openly, Nonbinary, Open the Closet Door, Overcoming Stigma, Private Life, Public Life, Secret Life

Mar 04 2023

Posts

Dispatch from the Hideout: Endemic Edition

“When the physical threat of coronavirus subsides, as it surely will, we must address the impact to our mental health” — Luciana Berger

Endemic Definition: “…a disease or a condition, regularly found and very common among a particular group or in a particular area” — Cambridge Dictionary

Three years into the COVID-19 pandemic and we are the next stage of its evolution as the virus becomes endemic. It’s now living with us, and for some of you, living in you as Long COVID. To the best of my knowledge, I’m a Never COVID, COVID Virgin, or COVID Target. Yes, I’m still vulnerable, however, I’m grateful. It required three years of isolation including, social distancing, healthy practices, sacrificing time with friends and family, avoiding indoor restaurants, stores, and events, many of which gave my life meaning and pleasure. For some of the past three years, I worked remotely, and when in the office, masked. Continue reading →

Tagged COVID-19, COVID-19 Journal Project, Daylight Saving Time, Dispatch from the Hideout, Endemic, Family, Father, Films, Friends, Gratitude, Isolation, Pandemic, Pod Squad, Return to Life, Seasons, Spring Fever, Wisconsin Film Festival

Oct 22 2017

2 Comments

Posts

Me Too — DAMMIT!

Trigger Warning: This essay contains firsthand memories of sexual molestation and harassment.

From my memoir, Perfectly Flawed:

“It was during one of those occasions I lay napping on the guest bed at my maternal grandmother’s house, on the chenille bedspread under the picture of the geese taking flight from the marsh, Charlie came into the bedroom to wake me. As I struggled to gain consciousness and understand what was happening, I could feel Charlie’s beard stubble scrape my cheeks like sandpaper. His beer and cigar-soaked breath was at my ear, breathing heavily. Continue reading →

Tagged #MeToo, Addiction, Alcoholism, Don't Talk Rules, Male Gaze, Molestation, Rape, Recovery, Repressed Memories, Secrets, Sexual Assualt, Sexual Harassment, Shame

Jan 10 2016

Posts

A Filmgoer’s Guide to the Best Films of 2015

First, as a filmgoer I want to begin by acknowledging that 2015 was an excellent year for movies. Blockbusters like Mad Max: Fury Road and Star Wars: The Force Awakens both entertained the filmgoing audiences and made money for the studios. Dramas and biopics told stories about people and events that shaped politics and culture, including Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys in Love and Mercy, Steve Jobs in both documentary and narrative films about his life, the Cold War in Bridge of Spies, and the Blacklist of screenwriters accused of being Communists in 1950s Hollywood in Trumbo. The mortgage banking and financial crisis of Wall Street was portrayed in The Big Short, and one of the best films of the year, Spotlight, revealed the pervasive abuse of vulnerable children by Catholic priests in Boston and beyond by the investigative reporters of the Boston Globe. Continue reading →

Tagged Cinephile, Ethel Lenzke, Filmgoer's Guide to the Best Films, Films, LGBTQ, Movies, Roger Ebert, The Bechdel Test, Wisconsin Film Festival

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