Dispatch from the Hideout: Back to Life

“It’s back to normal, but it’s a different normal. It’s not the same as it was before, but people are getting back to work. Life goes on. ― Eric Young

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ― Maya Angelou

On May 1st it’s back to life, a return to some degree of normal, however, it will certainly be different, a new normal. I return to work and begin a new job as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate. I’m grateful. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Stirred Crazy

For this next installment of Dispatch from the Hideout, I originally planned on writing about how I became stir crazy as I sheltered-in-place and stayed-at-home alone. Instead, following Trump’s LIBERATE Tweets which fueled demonstrations by his supporters in a number of states, I’ve changed the focus to an opinion piece, Stirred Crazy.

Stir Crazy

One benefit from the pandemic experience is I’ve learned that I’m able to thrive on my own, while still desiring social, physical, emotional, and spiritual connection with others, including loved ones and a larger community. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Easter Holiday

Like most holidays I celebrated as a child, Easter was a hybrid of religious traditions, the social culture from the generation in which I grew up, and our own ethnic and family rituals, which we repeated in some fashion every year.  

Easter Holidays Past

Note: Includes excerpts from Poop Eggs & Lamb Cakes

Today is the Easter Holiday and Passover. Growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, my family had many traditions which we repeated every year, some with glee, and others with complaints. On Easter Saturday, we’d color eggs, which the Easter Bunny would hide that night. Mom boiled two or three dozen as our family grew. She’d cover the kitchen table with newspaper and the kids would crowd around it with our crayons, the white wax marker to write our names, a spoon in hand ready to dip the eggs in the assembly line of Easter egg dye in her Corelle coffee cups. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Edition

“There’s a difference between solitude and loneliness.” — Maggie Smith

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.” ― May Sarton 

This past week I hit the wall to use a metaphor. The difference between solitude and loneliness became viscerally clear. I consider myself someone who enjoys my own company and solitude, who goes to great lengths to protect it, and over the years has learned to be both independent and resilient, two skills critical to survive the pandemic. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Pandemic Edition

“If you lived here, you’d be home by now.” Firesign Theater

Yes, I’m home, homebound, socially distancing, not quite in a lockdown, not totally self-quarantining. I’m staying in, doing my civic duty to protect our community and to keep myself healthy. Do I get a Girl Scout Badge for that?

I’ve been socially distancing to some degree since February 28th when I was laid-off from my job which was eliminated due to a company reorganization. In the interim, I’ve conducted a job search, applied and received Unemployment Compensation, registered at the Department of Workforce Development (DWD) Job Center, and gratefully, interviewed for a couple of positions before the community spread of COVID-19 changed everything. I also had a few dates with friends for coffee and/or brunch. I delivered birthday cards to my niece Gemma and nephew Quinn. With their mother, my sister, Tami, we visited outside, 6-feet apart, and I elbow-bumped my brother-in-law, Ron. All that has now ended too. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Social Distancing

Definition of Social Distancing (Medical) – Protecting the public health by separating communities so that people who are stricken with a contagious illness cannot pass it on to others who are not. It includes, e.g., having children stay out of school when they are ill; closing workplaces, postponing meetings, and avoiding large social or religious gatherings or sporting events. It is designed to stop the spread of epidemics or pandemics but is not as strict a limitation on social interaction as quarantine.” — Source: The Medical Dictionary – thefreedictionary.com 

Definition of Social Distancing (Psychological) – …describes the distance between different groups in society, such as social class, race/ethnicity, gender or sexuality. Different groups mix less than members of the same group. It is the measure of nearness or intimacy that an individual or group feels towards another individual or group in a social network or the level of trust one group has for another and the extent of perceived likeness of beliefs.” — Source: Wikipedia

This is the fifth in a series of Dispatches from the Hideout which I began writing three years ago. This is the first installment of my COVID-19 dispatches written during the pandemic. Continue reading

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Hungover: A Madison Story Slam Baptism

“True stories from the heart of Madison, WI. Host Adam Rostad brings storytellers together to tell true stories based on a theme, from real people.” — From the Madison Story Slam website.

This is the second in a series on local story slams. The first installment was First Person Production’s, Sarah White’s, audience-member takeaway of a recent Moth StorySLAM, which she shared on her blog, True Stories Well Told. Click on the link following my story.

Continue reading

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A Filmgoer’s Guide to the Best Films of 2019

“Certain things leave you in your life and certain things stay with you. And that’s why we’re all interested in movies — those ones that make you feel, you still think about. Because it gave you such an emotional response, it’s actually part of your emotional make-up, in a way.” — Tim Burton

“A good movie can take you out of your dull funk and the hopelessness that so often goes with slipping into a theatre; a good movie can make you feel alive again, in contact, not just lost in another city. Good movies make you care, make you believe in possibilities again.” — Pauline Kael

As in other years, first, before I share A Filmgoer’s Guide to the Best Films of 2019this is a reminder that I’m a cinephile and not a critic. I offer my thoughts and impressions on the films I saw this past year and comment on what worked for me, what didn’t, and what transported me. Movie-going is, for the most part, a solitary experience. Like other forms of art immersion, we respond intimately with the medium, emotionally, viscerally, and intellectually. Continue reading

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Memories Are Made of This: Grief & Gratitude

“Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.” — Oscar Wilde

“Sometimes it only takes one song to bring back a thousand memories.” — Unknown

It’s in fact a song that inspired the title of this essay and reminiscence. I don’t consider it a favorite in my playlist, however, the title captures the spirit of this blog post. It was a popular song about nostalgia. It’s been performed by country western singers like Jim Reeves, The Everly Brothers, and Johnny Cash, and covered by crooners like Dean Martin and Bing Crosby.  Full disclosure, for me, it’s the title that captures the essence of the song’s meaning. Our lived experiences create our memories.  Continue reading

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Confessions of a Blogger: Conversations with Myself

“My blog musings are conversations with myself to which you’re invited to listen.”  — Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!

I’ve lived alone now for almost a dozen years. It changes a person, or in the very least, it changed me. As someone with a history of codependency, I’ve been other or outward-oriented. In the past, I often looked outside of myself to gauge how I was feeling or what I was thinking. Gratefully, recovery and therapy put the focus back on me. Now I ask, “What am I feeling? What are my thoughts?”

The tradeoff is at home — and sometimes in my office at work or in public — I talk to myself out loud. When I first started living alone and talking aloud, I worried about this behavior. I soon reminded myself of a couple of characteristics that I possess, I’m an auditory person, and for the most part, socially extroverted, though the longer I’ve lived alone, the more introverted I’ve become. I now consider myself an ambivert. Continue reading

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