Tag Archives: Brother

Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 8

Note: This is eighth in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

This past weekend I returned to my hometown of Racine, Wisconsin to celebrate the wedding of my niece Jennifer and her spouse Becky. They were married earlier this summer when same sex marriage was legalized in Wisconsin. They’ve been committed, loving partners for 12 years. I wish you could have joined me; it was a wonderful event and for me an affirmation that love is love, especially when families are able to accept, support and love their LGBTQ relatives and welcome their partners unconditionally. I am grateful to be a member of that kind of family. Continue reading

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Home for the Holidays

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” — Oscar Wilde, A Woman of of Importance

In less than two weeks I’ll travel home to Racine, Wisconsin for the Thanksgiving holiday along with countless other families and friends all over the country who will travel to celebrate with loved ones.  I also scheduled a few days off of work to use some vacation days before I lose them when my work anniversary arrives the beginning of December. At first I thought I’d have staycation time for myself at home before and after the holiday, to tackle some “to-do if I want to items” and see a couple of film matineesand then I talked with my parents. Continue reading

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A Triptych of Films about Family Love

“Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.” — David Ogden Stiers

During the past week, I’ve seen three films, Love Is Strange, This Is Where I Leave You, and The Skeleton Twins.  What do a story about gay partners who marry after 40 years together and then lose their income and home, a family sitting Shiva after the death of their father and husband, and twins estranged for ten years who reunite after one of them attempts suicide, all have in common? What is the familiar theme? Quite simply, like David Ogden Stiers quote it’s family and, “…no one gets left behind or forgotten.” Continue reading

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Thanksgiving: Things Change

Holidays, like the changing seasons or the pages of a calendar recur, and though we often follow rituals and traditions like templates, things change. Two of my favorite quotes address change, the first by the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, “The only constant is change” and the second  by Henry David Thoreau, American author, philosopher and naturalist who wrote in his book Walden, “Things do not change; we change.”  Both, I believe are true. Continue reading

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There Will Be Stories

Like most other families, when mine gets together there will be stories. Some stories are the ritual retelling of past shared memories, the mythology we’ve created and strive to preserve. Other stories are simply gossip, told family-style, which in ours means we are usually talking about the absent relative, so there’s additional incentive to attend family gatherings if you want to protect your reputation or tell your side of the story. Lastly, we tell stories to impart our values and create a family legacy for the next generation. Continue reading

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Motherless Daughters

“The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.”  Author Unknown

First, I must state that my mother is alive and well (in a manner of speaking), 80 years old living with my father in the house I grew up in. I’m lucky. Today, I can go home again. I’m saddened and concerned however, that my mother struggles with health issues, some of which are her genetic legacy (and probably mine too), others the consequences of her choices. Those include being married to my father and giving birth to and raising six children while being a working mother. Did I say I was grateful to still have her in my life? I am. Continue reading

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Three Fathers

Father’s Day is Sunday and I’ve been reflecting on my family history and the role of the men in my life. I hail from a matriarchal background, from both my paternal and maternal lineages. The families were headed by women, by default due to death and abandonment on my father’s side, and because of death on my mother’s. The women, my great grandmothers and grandmothers were loyal, hardworking and committed to their namesakes and either outlived or outlasted their male counterparts. Today, my mother carries on the tradition and is the head of my immediate family, she is the glue that holds us together and usually has the last word. Continue reading

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