Tag Archives: Dating

Feb 14 2022
Posts

Dispatch from the Hideout: Love in a Pandemic 2.0

Heard today: “I finally fell in love with my person.”

My realization: “My person, is me!” 

Though the title of this Valentine’s Day holiday musing is Dispatch from the Hideout: Love in a Pandemic 2.0 it is actually the eve of the third year of the COVID-19 pandemic. Let that sink in for a moment.

Like most things in life, we can look at life from both sides now (cue the amazing Joni Mitchell). There’s pre-pandemic romantic love and our relationships with friends and family — compared to the past two years of love in a pandemic. It was a challenge and we each made an assessment — weighing the risks versus benefits — every time we made a decision of when, where, and how we’d get together in-person with friends, family, and loved ones with whom we didn’t live. When you live alone, the question became more powerful. How much isolation can my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being tolerate?    Continue reading →

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Feb 14 2021
Posts

Dispatch from the Hideout: Love In a Pandemic

“I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates.” — Maya Angelou

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”  — Lucille Ball.

Valentine’s Day is here. As it approached, I drafted this musing about the holiday and romantic love, a look at relationships, dating, and my single status while ‘Home Alone.’ Yes, love in a pandemic. As a single person, it’s a look back at the past, skin hunger in the present, and desire for companionship in the future.

Continue reading →

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Aug 30 2019
Posts

Random Topics IV

Niksen, Situationship, and Neuralink

From the introduction of the first in the series of Random Topics:

“As a blogger, I mine my daily life for topics to write about. I set out to find something timely and meaningful, something that my readers can relate to, a universal message or lesson to discover in my lived experience. Another option is to choose a subject from the news of the day to comment on, however sometimes current events are tragically overwhelming.”

In the past week, and longer, there was ample craziness in the news to comment on including Trump’s frivolous and dangerous claims. First, he declared he was “the chosen one” — increasing tariffs and escalating the trade war with China, causing a downturn in the stock market threatening a recession — next, the real-estate mogul’s “absurd” attempt to purchase Greenland from the Danes. All of this happened before his departure for the G7 Summit and proclamation to reinstate Putin, making it the G8 again. Trump participated at the summit as an outlier to the world‘s democracies. As the G7 Summit concluded, he promoted his Trump National Doral Miami Resort as the location of next year’s summit when the U.S. hosts. Oh, My!  Continue reading →

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Jun 09 2017
Posts

I Need to Pay Attention to What I Resist

“Where there is power, there is resistance.” ― Michel Foucault

There are many tools for living that I’ve acquired over the years from parents, mentors, school, books, films, spiritual practices, and recovery from substances and unhealthy behaviors. I’m most grateful for the latter, which saved my life. Today, we are faced with challenges in personal, social, and political spheres. Now, more than ever, I need to pay attention to what I resist.  Continue reading →

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Feb 09 2017
1 Comment
Posts

One Is NOT the Loneliest Number

A Valentine’s Day Dispatch from a “Just One.”

First, I want to go on record that yes — I would L-O-V-E to be in a long-term, committed, romantic relationship with the right person — heck yes — perhaps I’d even consider getting married again, unlikely, but possible. Having said that, I must admit that being single, or “just one,” is not the loneliest number, despite the lyrics of the song One (click to hear Harry Nilsson perform the song) made famous by Three Dog Night, which was written by Harry Nilsson, who is one of my favorite songwriters, (I know I’m dating myself here). H-m-m-m — “dating myself” ­ — it’s kind of a metaphor for being single on Valentine’s Day. Continue reading →

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Dec 12 2015
8 Comments
Posts

Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 10

The Final Episode: This is the last in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s time. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later. I’ve been having lots of one-way conversations in my head with my ex-girlfriend and you — my next girlfriend. I’ve been living in the past, or imagining the future. As I said, it’s time. It’s time to be in the moment, in the here and now, and accept, yes, fully accept, that I’m single and I’m okay — all that TM (Transactional Analysis) self-help, self-talk from the bestselling self-help book I’m Okay, You’re Okay from 1969 that in 1972 made the New York Times Best Seller List. Next girlfriend, it’s not exactly like we’re breaking up — we never got together! Continue reading →

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Sep 13 2014
Posts

Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 7

Note: This is seventh in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

You’ve been on my mind again. Over the Labor Day weekend and the following work week, I took my annual staycation. It’s time off of work during my favorite time of year. Those summer days right before fall and the beginning of the school year. I plan coffee dates or brunch with friends, wander in an art museum and linger in a library, check off things from my “to do only if I want to list,” see a movie matinee or two, write, nap, cook, and practice spontaneity. It is a time for reflection and restoration, and it’s a reminder I’m single. Continue reading →

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Jun 16 2014
2 Comments
Posts

Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 6

Note: This is the sixth in the series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

What a difference 10 days makes. A little over a week ago hundreds of same-sex couples in Wisconsin were getting married legally after a Federal District Judge, the Honorable Barbara Crabb, overturned the ban on same-sex marriage in Wisconsin. Many of the newlyweds (or newly registered) were people I knew, some who have been together 10, 15, 20 years or more, some raised children together, purchased homes, planned their lives as a family, and supported each other emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. At least 637 marriage licenses have been applied for since Crabb’s ruling. 

Continue reading →

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Feb 09 2014
1 Comment
Posts

Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 4

Note: The following post is fourth in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”  — Lucille Ball.

Who would have thought that Lucille Ball, comedienne and star of I Love Lucy, could express in a few simple words what I finally learned to practice after a decade in therapy?  Yes, it’s that time of year again, love is in the air and chocolatiers, florists, restaurants and the folks at Hallmark are busy trying to get into our pockets, and not to be too crude, but for those of you out there in a relationship, your “special someone” is  trying to get into your pants. Next girlfriend, I was hoping to be included in that group. Oh well, I’m going to practice patience while I wait for you and continue to enjoy and celebrate my single life, and today, acknowledge all the love I’m grateful to both give and receive. Continue reading →

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Jan 14 2014
1 Comment
Posts

Because Love

be·cause 

biˈkz,-ˈkəz/ conjunction 1. for the reason that; since.

love

ˈləv\  noun 1. a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person

Language, its etymology and meanings, evolves and reflects the times. And, so does love. Recent events illustrate both these points. The first is the word “because” which was named the 2013 Word of the Year by the American Dialectic Society. The selection recognized that because is now being used in new ways to introduce a noun, adjective, or other part of speech.  Continue reading →

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