Tag Archives: Dating

Sexagenarian Dating in the Midwest

“It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.”  Margaret Mead

Today’s post begins with a quote from Margaret Mead, the cultural anthropologist, writer and feminist. I offer this quote for a couple of reasons; first, Mead is a widely quoted and respected student of civilization, she was posthumously awarded the Medal of Freedom by President Jimmy Carter in 1979. The citation read:

“Margaret Mead was both a student of civilization and an exemplar of it. To a public of millions, she brought the central insight of cultural anthropology: that varying cultural patterns express an underlying human unity. She mastered her discipline, but she also transcended it. Intrepid, independent, plain spoken, fearless, she remains a model for the young and a teacher from whom all may learn.”

The second reason I begin with Mead’s quote about aging is that I wanted this essay about dating in my sixties to have some academic weight. The idea that I was approaching this subject from the point of view of a cultural anthropologist made me smile as I write about my dating life, or current lack of one. Continue reading

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Conversations with My Next Girlfriend

Preface

Since the breakup of my fifteen-year relationship, five-and-a-half years ago, I remain living in the past to some degree. I’m aware that as long as my past inhabits my present, I’m essentially still in a relationship, even if it’s predominately virtual and one-sided.  I have conversations in my head — the closure and amends we never had a chance to process together; I work out the “hers, mine and ours” unfinished business of the breakup in scenarios in my dreams, I continue to share stories with friends that begin, “When I was with my ex…” and I make promises to myself to never repeat the same mistakes, or expect people to be anything but who they are, not what I wished they’d be, and yes, I include myself in that awareness. This is the legacy of being the person who was left. It takes time. The good news is we are working on redefining our relationship as friends and chosen family. Continue reading

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