Tag Archives: Death

The Legacy of a Life

“Let your very existence be your song, your poem, your story.
Let your very identity be your book.
Let the way people say your name sound like the sweetest melody.”
 ― Charlotte Eriksson*

The end of the year draws close. For some of us it’s a time to take inventory, to review the past year and look ahead to the new one. For others it’s marked a passage, an ending, hopefully to be followed by a new beginning. From Wikipedia:

In ancient Roman religion and mythJanus is the god of beginnings and transitions, and thereby of gates, doors, doorways, passages and endings. He is usually depicted as having two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past. It is conventionally thought that the month of January is named for Janus.” Continue reading

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The Third Act of Life

“It’s okay that you’re old; it means you’re not dead.”  ― My niece, Gemma, at the age of 4.

Some say, “Out of the mouths of babes comes wisdom.” This was certainly true the day seven years ago when I buckled my then four-year-old niece, Gemma, into her car seat.  She examined my face closely as I leaned in to safely strap her in the backseat of my car. Continue reading

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The Impermanence of Life

“Impermanence is one of the essential doctrines or three marks of existence in Buddhism. The term expresses the Buddhist notion that all of conditioned existence, without exception, is transient, or in a constant state of flux.”  ― Source: Wikipedia

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”  ―  Alan Wilson Watts

Though the weather is summer-like with hot, humid days and buggy nights, autumn awaits around the corner as the sun rises later and sets sooner each day. Children return to school, and families reset their routines. It is a wistful, introspective time of year for me, a time to reflect on my life, to look back at where I’ve been and to what’s ahead.  I often make new commitments and sometimes let go of others. Fall is always a time of change, both externally and internally.  Continue reading

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Reunions, Anniversaries, and Farewells

Some essays and remembrances are more to difficult to begin. Before the words can touch the page the thoughts and feelings in response to these life events must first be felt, then understood, and finally allowed to flow from one emotion to another, memories skipping time, moving from past to present and back again to another day, another reminiscence, some joyful, some sad, some full of gratitude, a few regrets, what ifs and why nots, mourning, tears and grief, and celebration, lots of celebration. Continue reading

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Lost & Found

Finding Vivian Maier

Yesterday I saw the film, Finding Vivian Maier. It is the previously untold story of a street and portrait photographer. Ms. Maier’s portraits were not staged or styled. Her subjects were often captured surreptitiously as she marched out into to the streets of Chicago with the children in her care. Vivian was a nanny to some of Chicago’s upper middle-class and wealthy families who lived along the North Shore of Lake Michigan. She left her job as a seamstress in New York to become a nanny so she could find ways to be outdoors, to be out in the world yet still hide in plain sight. Vivian was an undercover artist. Continue reading

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Things Left Unsaid

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”   ― Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”  ― Benjamin Franklin

The New Year held lessons and reminders for me from the very beginning. First, I must acknowledge my gratitude for the outcome, it has given me an opportunity to practice what I’ve learned this week, which is to say the things left unsaid, and to quiet my voice when what I’m tempted to say is hurtful, unnecessary, or gossip. Continue reading

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There Will Be Stories

Like most other families, when mine gets together there will be stories. Some stories are the ritual retelling of past shared memories, the mythology we’ve created and strive to preserve. Other stories are simply gossip, told family-style, which in ours means we are usually talking about the absent relative, so there’s additional incentive to attend family gatherings if you want to protect your reputation or tell your side of the story. Lastly, we tell stories to impart our values and create a family legacy for the next generation. Continue reading

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Adrift & Alone

Existentialism: a philosophical theory or approach that emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will. A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as inexplicable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one’s acts.

When I was a freshman in college my favorite class was Intro to Philosophy. The times also influenced my interest in the subject. It was the fall of 1968, and like most young adults of my generation, I was exploring the big issues of the day and asking questions: What is the meaning of life, why are we here, and is there a God? Continue reading

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Motherless Daughters

“The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.”  Author Unknown

First, I must state that my mother is alive and well (in a manner of speaking), 80 years old living with my father in the house I grew up in. I’m lucky. Today, I can go home again. I’m saddened and concerned however, that my mother struggles with health issues, some of which are her genetic legacy (and probably mine too), others the consequences of her choices. Those include being married to my father and giving birth to and raising six children while being a working mother. Did I say I was grateful to still have her in my life? I am. Continue reading

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