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Without Her: A Mother’s Day Lament

“The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.” — Author unknown

On this Mother’s Day I want to express my gratitude. I’m lucky. My eyes first met my mother’s over 66 years ago on the day I was born. She was the first person I ever experienced in life, whose flesh touched mine, her smell familiar, whose breasts nourished me, and whose arms held me close to her heart. I’m sure I was comforted by the sound of her soft voice and steady heartbeat that I heard while still in her womb. Every year on my birthday I felt intimately close to her. We often shared tears, tears of gratitude and joy. This year was the last one we’ll ever share together. Mom died 10 days after my birthday. This is my first Mother’s Day without her. Continue reading

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On the Move Again!

“The first step in getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.”  — Unknown

It’s that time of year in Madison, Wisconsin when U-Hauls and Two Men and a Truck will soon clog the streets. Popup curbside flea markets appear overnight as university students dump their second-hand furniture and poorly-assembled IKEA desks and bookcases rather than move them. It’s so commonplace that when student leases expire on August 15th, we’ve dubbed it “Hippie Christmas.” Continue reading

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The Loud Family Loses a Loved One

We Say Goodbye to Our Matriarch

First, a little background:  In 1973 American TV audiences were introduced to a groundbreaking 12-part documentary series on PBS entitled An American Family featuring the Louds, an upper middle class family in Santa Barbara, California. This was considered the first reality TV series. Keeping with its irreverent tradition of satirizing American culture, Saturday Night Live in season four, episode six, created its own Loud family, starring Jane Curtin as Mrs. Loud, Bill Murray as Mr. Loud and their daughters, Gilda Radner and guest host, Carrie Fisher with supporting characters played by John Belushi, Dan Ayckroyd and Garrett Morris. Continue reading

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Full Moon on Christmas Day: Part II

Christmas Present and Christmas Future

“Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness.” — Cheryl Strayed

This is Part II of a personal essay on the holidays. The subject of Part I was pre-holiday musings and reminiscing about childhood Christmas celebrations past. I’m grateful to my parents for their gifts to me, most importantly their love, nurturing, and support and for the delight I experienced on Christmas morning as a child when I saw the decorated tree and gift-wrapped presents.

Part II is also recognition that things change; we experience loss in our life as we age. Loved ones leave us, others die, and some traditions are more difficult to sustain.  People move across country, move on from childhood to adulthood, and sometimes family members and loved ones create chasms too difficult to bridge. Continue reading

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Full Moon on Christmas Day: Part I

Pre-Holiday Musings & Memories of Christmas Past

“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.”  Laura Ingalls Wilder

“The bright moon glows amongst pines.” — Wang Wei

Christmas approaches and for those who celebrate this Christian holiday or families like mine of Northern European heritage who practice a more Americanized consumer tradition we are being treated to a Full Cold Moon on Christmas Day. The Full Cold Moon is also called the Long Night Moon by some Native American tribes because it’s near the Winter Solstice. Continue reading

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Pick a Metaphor: Life-Planning

  1. The Three Boxes of Life
  2. Whack-a-Mole
  3. Juggling: When All the Balls Are in the Air

As readers of my blog already know, I like to mix metaphors. Today I introduce the first installment of another Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! series entitled, Pick a Metaphor.  In this series I will choose a topic and look at it based on a number of metaphors. What I have found in my own life is that sometimes the metaphor I select to describe an issue I’m facing sets the tone of how I will think and feel about it.  Continue reading

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The Pleasures (and Lessons) of a Staycation

“A vacation that is spent at one’s home enjoying all that home and one’s home environs have to offer.”— Urban Dictionary

“You don’t have to go far to travel.” Me

It’s that time of year again when September arrives and I extend the Labor Day holiday by taking my annual Staycation. While students return to school after their families unpack from vacation and pack those back-to-school backpacks full of brand new school supplies, I take a break from my day-to-day work routines and make my “to-do only if I want to lists.”   Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 9

Note: This is the ninth episode in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s a cloudy, grey, overcast day — the eve of the Summer Solstice. Showers moved through the area earlier as thunder rumbled and tumbled in the distance. The sun is trying to find its way through the clouds overhead, outside the window where I write. The weather matches my mood as I hope to find the partly sunny outlook or the glass half full way of thinking before the longest day of the year arrives. I’m reflective. I know I’m mixing metaphors — it’s what I do. Continue reading

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Memories, Milestones & Musings

“Memory …is the diary that we all carry about with us.” — Oscar Wilde

Today is the last day of the first month of the year. I’ve been spending a lot of time looking back at last year and looking ahead to the new year. That journey has taken detours to the past and ventured into dreams of the future. It’s no surprise this month is named for the Roman God, Janus. As I recently noted in my essay, Legacy of a Life:

In ancient Roman religion and myth, Janus is the god of beginnings and transitions, and thereby of gates, doors, doorways, passages and endings. He is usually depicted as having two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past. It is conventionally thought that the month of January is named for Janus.”  (Source: Wikipedia)  Continue reading

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Home for the Holidays

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” — Oscar Wilde, A Woman of of Importance

In less than two weeks I’ll travel home to Racine, Wisconsin for the Thanksgiving holiday along with countless other families and friends all over the country who will travel to celebrate with loved ones.  I also scheduled a few days off of work to use some vacation days before I lose them when my work anniversary arrives the beginning of December. At first I thought I’d have staycation time for myself at home before and after the holiday, to tackle some “to-do if I want to items” and see a couple of film matineesand then I talked with my parents. Continue reading

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