Tag Archives: Loss

Things Change

“There is nothing permanent except change.” — Heraclitus

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” —Alan Watts 

As a person of a certain age — my favorite euphemism for old —change is an undeniable truth of life. As I write, it’s the eve of autumn, the changing of the seasons, and the day before a memorial service for a coworker, confidant, and friend. Things Change has also been the theme of this year, and the title of my 17th annual journal, which begin in September. It’s also the final chapter of my life — no longer a dress rehearsal — yet an opportunity “To change the things I can” and leave a legacy behind, the measure of my life. Continue reading

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Goodbye to Our Childhood Home

You Can’t Go Home Again Title of the novel by Thomas Wolfe

“In life, a person will come and go from many homes. We may leave a house, a town, a room, but that does not mean those places leave us. Once entered, we never entirely depart the homes we make for ourselves in the world.” Ari Berk

“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” Maya Angelou

Grief and gratitude, letting go and holding on, and things change have been themes for me this past year (and longer).

Note: This reminiscence was written in response to the prompt, Home, for my Door County Write On LGBTQ+ Writers’ Group.

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The First Goodbye: Remembering Uncle Willy

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” ― Shannon Alder

Some people, sweet and attractive, and strong and healthy, happen to die young. They are masters in disguise teaching us about impermanence. ― Dalai Lama

Today is St. Patrick’s Day as I begin drafting this reminiscence and tribute to my Uncle Willy. He was born William Roger Mason ― my mother’s favorite ―and beloved ― younger brother. Since I was child when I knew him, he will forever be remembered by his endearment, Uncle Willy. Continue reading

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The Last Goodbye

We bid farewell to our father, grandfather, and great grandfather.

“Someday I’m going to write a book about our family!” — This writer as a defiant 16-year-old.

“I look forward to reading it!” — Our beloved mother

First, I haven’t drafted and posted new content for this blog since the end of October. The past three months have been a challenge and an unexpected journey. Though I’ve not written for my blog, I’ve done more writing during this period compared to what is typical. Most of it communication with bio and chosen family, journal entries, and social media posts. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: It’s Not Over, Till It’s Over!

“It ain’t over, till it’s over!” — Yogi Berra

This past weekend, the weather in the upper Midwest changed dramatically from unseasonably hot temperatures — 20+ degrees above normal — then dropped below normal for early fall. We went from wearing short sleeves and short pants to sweaters and sweats. We turned-off air conditioners, or closed open windows, we turned on the heat or used our fireplaces. Instead of outdoor social activities like dining al fresco, we began moving indoors.

Like the past three-and-a-half years during the pandemic which now can be classified as an endemic, most of us now get vaccinated in the fall. This year in addition to the annual flu shot and pneumococcal vaccine, there’s a new RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) immunization, plus the updated COVID vaccine protecting us from the newest variant. Health experts suggest that moving forward we will receive an annual COVID vaccine like the flu shot.  Continue reading

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Meditations on Mortality: Grief & Gratitude

Meditation definition (Oxford Languages) – a written or spoken discourse expressing considered thoughts on a subject.

Mortality definition (Oxford Languages) – the state of being subject to death. 

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die, or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live.” — Joan Baez

As a person of a certain age — living my seventh decade — death and dying are on my mind.

Recently, there have been unexpected deaths of friends and loved ones, plus celebrities and artists in the public sphere, caused by accidents, deadly health crisis, unknown reasons, suicide, or overdose. When we’re unprepared for the sudden news, it’s both shocking and unsettling. For many of us, it’s a reminder of our own mortality. Continue reading

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I’m a Little Bit OCD

I’m a big fan of our premier local theater groupForward Theater Co. Every other year they mount a monologue festival, featuring about a dozen original monologues from all over the U.S. This year the theme is Out in This World described as follows from their website:

“They say that traveling leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller. FTC’s seventh monologue festival, Out in This World, presents twelve storytellers whose tales will take you on journeys both familiar and unexpected. Whether venturing to faraway places or making discoveries closer to home, this collection of original monologues will transport you. Who knows where the path might lead?” Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Casualties

“Life seems sometimes like nothing more than a series of losses, from beginning to end. That’s the given. How you respond to those losses, what you make of what’s left, that’s the part you have to make up as you go.” ― Katharine Weber

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Laozi

This past Saturday night we planned an event, Last Night at the Hotel Bar, a reunion of sorts, a wake, and sendoff, not for a person but for a place, The Brink Lounge in Madison, Wisconsin. It was a gathering for Madison Indie Filmmakers, friends, and supporters. We referred to ourselves as the Barflies. The Brink Lounge was closing permanently on April 30. Continue reading

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A Filmgoer’s Guide to the Best Films of 2021

“The part about going to the movies that was so thrilling was not the film itself…but being around other humans, tearing up at the end and realizing that the people on either side of me were sniffling, too.” How Life Resumes, NTY, Melissa Kirsch, 2/19/22

Things change. As I write, the Academy Awards are a week away on Sunday, March 27. I usually post my annual, A Filmgoer’s Guide to the Best Films, well in advance of the Oscars. Since the event is approaching, the deadline for this review is here.

Award shows this year, those that didn’t cancel their in-person events, were delayed. The same was true of many of the films from 2021. Studios hoped people would feel safe enough to return to theaters in person so they postponed premieres. Most didn’t feel safe, including me. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Omicron Edition

“The year 2021 has been like a roller coaster. It was supposed to be the year the pandemic fizzled out. Instead, it was a year of intense whiplash.” — Julie Ries

“It’s not over, till it’s over!” — Yogi Bera

This dispatch is part holiday season review, 2021 year-end wrap up, plus a look ahead, and once again, an acceptance of opposing conditions, that things both change and remain the same. It has been a year characterized by both hope and despair, gratitude and grief, and resistance and surrender.

The past year — or 22 months — depending on how you want to count — we’ve been riding the coronacoaster of the COVID pandemic. There have been highs and lows on this ride, whiplash, and screams. We want to get off this ride, yet we can’t until it’s over. Continue reading

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