“Where there is power, there is resistance.” ― Michel Foucault
There are many tools for living that I’ve acquired over the years from parents, mentors, school, books, films, spiritual practices, and recovery from substances and unhealthy behaviors. I’m most grateful for the latter, which saved my life. Today, we are faced with challenges in personal, social, and political spheres. Now, more than ever, I need to pay attention to what I resist. Continue reading
A Valentine’s Day Dispatch from a “Just One.”
First, I want to go on record that yes — I would L-O-V-E to be in a long-term, committed, romantic relationship with the right person — heck yes — perhaps I’d even consider getting married again, unlikely, but possible. Having said that, I must admit that being single, or “just one,” is not the loneliest number, despite the lyrics of the song One (click to hear Harry Nilsson perform the song) made famous by Three Dog Night, which was written by Harry Nilsson, who is one of my favorite songwriters, (I know I’m dating myself here). H-m-m-m — “dating myself” — it’s kind of a metaphor for being single on Valentine’s Day. Continue reading
“I watch the ripples change their size
but never leave the stream
of warm impermanence
so the days float through my eyes” — David Bowie, Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
The summer is beginning to wind down and autumn is right around the corner. I often muse about the changing seasons this time of the year and reflect on my life, time-hopping from the past to the future, then back to today. Though it’s common to look back at the preceding year on New Year’s Eve or look ahead to the coming year the next day, I usually follow the school year calendar and my annual staycation. Some habits are hard to break. Continue reading
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” — Jim Valvano
As my friends, family, work colleagues, and regular readers are already aware, I recently finished moving. I now have only one set of keys, and my material life resides in a single location for the exception of a dozen totes that a friend generously volunteered to store in her basement. Moving seemed like a never-ending process and I’m grateful it’s over and I can stop writing and talking about it (I will, I promise). I can now direct my energy to other things, which brings me to Father’s Day and the tragedy in Orlando at Pulse LGBTQ nightclub. You might ask, “How are these two subjects related?” Continue reading
The Final Episode: This is the last in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.
Dear Next Girlfriend,
It’s time. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later. I’ve been having lots of one-way conversations in my head with my ex-girlfriend and you — my next girlfriend. I’ve been living in the past, or imagining the future. As I said, it’s time. It’s time to be in the moment, in the here and now, and accept, yes, fully accept, that I’m single and I’m okay — all that TM (Transactional Analysis) self-help, self-talk from the bestselling self-help book I’m Okay, You’re Okay from 1969 that in 1972 made the New York Times Best Seller List. Next girlfriend, it’s not exactly like we’re breaking up — we never got together! Continue reading
“Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other.” — Justice Anthony M. Kennedy
Oh crap! I’m really in trouble now. Not only am I an older woman, I’m an older lesbian woman, and can now add to that list: older, lesbian, single, and now unmarried, woman. How did that happen? Yes, that’s a rhetorical question and I know the answer. Continue reading
Note: This is the ninth episode in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Dear Next Girlfriend,
It’s a cloudy, grey, overcast day — the eve of the Summer Solstice. Showers moved through the area earlier as thunder rumbled and tumbled in the distance. The sun is trying to find its way through the clouds overhead, outside the window where I write. The weather matches my mood as I hope to find the partly sunny outlook or the glass half full way of thinking before the longest day of the year arrives. I’m reflective. I know I’m mixing metaphors — it’s what I do. Continue reading