Tag Archives: Love

Jun 16 2014
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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 6

Note: This is the sixth in the series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

What a difference 10 days makes. A little over a week ago hundreds of same-sex couples in Wisconsin were getting married legally after a Federal District Judge, the Honorable Barbara Crabb, overturned the ban on same-sex marriage in Wisconsin. Many of the newlyweds (or newly registered) were people I knew, some who have been together 10, 15, 20 years or more, some raised children together, purchased homes, planned their lives as a family, and supported each other emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. At least 637 marriage licenses have been applied for since Crabb’s ruling. 

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Apr 20 2014
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Journal/Journey

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

Years before I started writing for others, I wrote poetry and journaled for myself. Sometimes I would share a poem with the person who inspired it yet seldom a journal entry. Journaling by its very nature is a private act, a conversation with oneself, often a daily record of happenings, experiences and observations. Sometimes our loved ones or curious friends or colleagues surreptitiously read our journals. Much is written about the consequences of reading someone’s journal without the author’s permission.

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Mar 29 2014
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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 5

Note: This is the fifth in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s been awhile since I’ve talked with you. There’s something about winter that makes some of us isolate and retreat to our homes. I count myself in that group this year. It has been a particularly challenging season and like so many others this winter I found comfort and solace in my home, snuggled up on the couch like an ole’ hibernating bear. Now that the first real hints of spring have arrived, I’m awakened again and so are many of my desires. For many creatures, including us, spring is mating season. Continue reading →

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Mar 01 2014
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The Ex Files

“Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I’m getting older too”     Landslide, Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac

Thomas Wolfe’s posthumously published novel, You Can’t Go Home Again, posits that we can never return to the home or town we left and find that it has remained as we remember, that the people and place are the same, though we have changed. The comfort we may seek in reliving memories is elusive. You can return home or revisit relationships however, and discover how much things have changed and remained the same.   Continue reading →

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Feb 09 2014
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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 4

Note: The following post is fourth in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”  — Lucille Ball.

Who would have thought that Lucille Ball, comedienne and star of I Love Lucy, could express in a few simple words what I finally learned to practice after a decade in therapy?  Yes, it’s that time of year again, love is in the air and chocolatiers, florists, restaurants and the folks at Hallmark are busy trying to get into our pockets, and not to be too crude, but for those of you out there in a relationship, your “special someone” is  trying to get into your pants. Next girlfriend, I was hoping to be included in that group. Oh well, I’m going to practice patience while I wait for you and continue to enjoy and celebrate my single life, and today, acknowledge all the love I’m grateful to both give and receive. Continue reading →

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Jan 14 2014
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Because Love

be·cause 

biˈkz,-ˈkəz/ conjunction 1. for the reason that; since.

love

ˈləv\  noun 1. a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person

Language, its etymology and meanings, evolves and reflects the times. And, so does love. Recent events illustrate both these points. The first is the word “because” which was named the 2013 Word of the Year by the American Dialectic Society. The selection recognized that because is now being used in new ways to introduce a noun, adjective, or other part of speech.  Continue reading →

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Jan 05 2014
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Things Left Unsaid

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”   ― Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”  ― Benjamin Franklin

The New Year held lessons and reminders for me from the very beginning. First, I must acknowledge my gratitude for the outcome, it has given me an opportunity to practice what I’ve learned this week, which is to say the things left unsaid, and to quiet my voice when what I’m tempted to say is hurtful, unnecessary, or gossip. Continue reading →

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Nov 24 2013
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Am I Blue?

“Am I blue, am I blue, ain’t these tears telling you, am I blue, you’d be too” —Billie Holiday

Blue Is the Warmest Color is the Cannes Film Festival’s Palme d’Or winning story of a young woman’s first love and loss. In an unusual move, the film’s French director, Abdellatif Kechiche, accepted the award alongside it’s two female leads, Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos. This was more surprising given the controversy surrounding the film and the working conditions for the actors who described the experience as “horrible.” Seydoux went even further when she said that Kechiche made her feel “like a prostitute.” Continue reading →

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Aug 10 2013
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Conversations with My Next Girlfriend

Preface

Since the breakup of my fifteen-year relationship, five-and-a-half years ago, I remain living in the past to some degree. I’m aware that as long as my past inhabits my present, I’m essentially still in a relationship, even if it’s predominately virtual and one-sided.  I have conversations in my head — the closure and amends we never had a chance to process together; I work out the “hers, mine and ours” unfinished business of the breakup in scenarios in my dreams, I continue to share stories with friends that begin, “When I was with my ex…” and I make promises to myself to never repeat the same mistakes, or expect people to be anything but who they are, not what I wished they’d be, and yes, I include myself in that awareness. This is the legacy of being the person who was left. It takes time. The good news is we are working on redefining our relationship as friends and chosen family. Continue reading →

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