Tag Archives: Recovery

Random Topics III

Sober Bars, Emotional Labor, and Salad Frosting

“So much of life, it seems to me, is determined by pure randomness.” — Sidney Poitier

“Creativity is the ability to introduce order into the randomness of nature.” — Eric Hoffer

From the introduction of the first in the series of Random Topics:

“As a blogger, I mine my daily life for topics to write about. I set out to find something timely and meaningful, something that my readers can relate to, a universal message or lesson to discover in my lived experience. Another option is to choose a subject from the news of the day to comment on, however sometimes current events are tragically overwhelming.”

“I’m often left to choose from the mundane or subjects that pique my curiosity. When this happens, the only common theme is the randomness of my choices. Today, I offer three random topics with absolutely no connection or relation to each other at least that I’m aware of at the outset of this essay. Perhaps as I write, I may discover the subtle relationships that bind them together. Life is like that.” Continue reading

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Hibernation & the Holidays: Retreat to the Hideout

Hibernation definition an extended period of remaining inactive or indoors

Hideout synonyms hiding place, hideaway, retreat, refuge, shelter, safe house, sanctuary, sanctum

First, I’m a creature of habit. I find comfort in my routines. There’s a rhythm to my days and nights. I read somewhere recently that we all experience some degree of OCD behavior. It’s certainly true for me. The gears of my Circadian clock are still trying to mesh with some synchronicity since the ending of Daylight Savings Time (DST) and turning the clocks one hour behind. Who knew that would make such an impact? They’re grinding a little right now as I try to slip back into a sleep cycle.  Continue reading

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Another Dispatch from the Hideout

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” — Desmond Tutu

It seems that I’ve retreated to the hideout again. For those not familiar with my earlier post, the hideout is a virtual one, described as follows, “I don’t have a cabin in the woods, or a bunker in the basement, I only have my home, a 645-square foot apartment. It’s where I wake up in the morning, retreat at the end of the work day, hideout on the weekends when I’m writing or feeling introverted, and end my days, often falling asleep on the couch watching TV. Yeah, I’m that girl. I live alone and most days I’m happy with that choice.”   Continue reading

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Me Too — DAMMIT!

Trigger Warning: This essay contains firsthand memories of sexual molestation and harassment.

From my memoir, Perfectly Flawed:

“It was during one of those occasions I lay napping on the guest bed at my maternal grandmother’s house, on the chenille bedspread under the picture of the geese taking flight from the marsh, Charlie came into the bedroom to wake me.  As I struggled to gain consciousness and understand what was happening, I could feel Charlie’s beard stubble scrape my cheeks like sandpaper. His beer and cigar-soaked breath was at my ear, breathing heavily. Continue reading

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Hotel Bar

“A recovering alcoholic walks into a hotel bar…”

You may be surprised on how this story ends. I’m the recovering alcoholic — that’s not a surprise to most of my readers — yet soon I will be scouting locations for my new web series, Hotel Bar. No worries, I won’t be drinking anything that contains alcohol during my site visits, but I will ultimately tell a story or two about a subject I know about, bars, bartenders, and the stories they hear. Continue reading

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I Need to Pay Attention to What I Resist

“Where there is power, there is resistance.” ― Michel Foucault

There are many tools for living that I’ve acquired over the years from parents, mentors, school, books, films, spiritual practices, and recovery from substances and unhealthy behaviors. I’m most grateful for the latter, which saved my life. Today, we are faced with challenges in personal, social, and political spheres. Now, more than ever, I need to pay attention to what I resist.  Continue reading

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No More 9 to 5!

UPDATE 02/25/2020: Three years ago, I began working part-time for my employer for whom I had worked full-time as a manager for almost 10 years. I became an hourly employee and the trade-off was I was able to work 20 hours a week and have three-day weekends.

Now that this job is ending, due to a company reorg, I’m reconsidering returning to full-time employment if I can combine my professional and avocational experience. In this third chapter of my life, I’d like to do work that aligns with my passions and commitment to social justice. Following is the original post from February 25, 2017.

It’s still winter in Wisconsin. After a week of record-breaking temperatures of spring-like weather — a hopeful tease of things to come — then came the rain, sleet, ice pellets, followed by snow and howling winds. We’re reminded that winter remains for a few more weeks before spring arrives. Spring is a season of hope and new beginnings. So is my life today, as I cross the threshold of my third act. Cue up Dolly Parton, no more “9 to 5.”  Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 10

The Final Episode: This is the last in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s time. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later. I’ve been having lots of one-way conversations in my head with my ex-girlfriend and you — my next girlfriend. I’ve been living in the past, or imagining the future. As I said, it’s time. It’s time to be in the moment, in the here and now, and accept, yes, fully accept, that I’m single and I’m okay — all that TM (Transactional Analysis) self-help, self-talk from the bestselling self-help book I’m Okay, You’re Okay from 1969 that in 1972 made the New York Times Best Seller List. Next girlfriend, it’s not exactly like we’re breaking up — we never got together! Continue reading

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The Power of Circles

“I get by with a little help from my friends.” Lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Last weekend I attended a recovery enrichment workshop at Edgewood College presented by Fred Holmquist of Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation’s Dan Anderson Renewal Center. The experience was a powerful reminder of the role recovery circles have played in my life. Over the years I’ve sat in many circles in outpatient treatment, aftercare, 12-step meetings, and retreats.  Yet this is simply one sphere of my life where circles of friends and peers have empowered me. Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 9

Note: This is the ninth episode in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s a cloudy, grey, overcast day — the eve of the Summer Solstice. Showers moved through the area earlier as thunder rumbled and tumbled in the distance. The sun is trying to find its way through the clouds overhead, outside the window where I write. The weather matches my mood as I hope to find the partly sunny outlook or the glass half full way of thinking before the longest day of the year arrives. I’m reflective. I know I’m mixing metaphors — it’s what I do. Continue reading

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