Tag Archives: Relationships

Aug 29 2013
Posts

Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 2

This is the second in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Sweet woman,

I know you’re having a hard time understanding why I asked my ex-girlfriend to accompany me and be my support person the day of my carpal tunnel release surgery. As you remember, I originally asked my sister who said she’d be with me that day. When her family was trying to find a time to take their annual vacation before school started, it turned out that the week of my outpatient surgery worked best with everyone’s schedule. She talked to me about it and I told her to have a great time and that I’d find someone else. Continue reading →

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Aug 10 2013
2 Comments
Posts

Conversations with My Next Girlfriend

Preface

Since the breakup of my fifteen-year relationship, five-and-a-half years ago, I remain living in the past to some degree. I’m aware that as long as my past inhabits my present, I’m essentially still in a relationship, even if it’s predominately virtual and one-sided.  I have conversations in my head — the closure and amends we never had a chance to process together; I work out the “hers, mine and ours” unfinished business of the breakup in scenarios in my dreams, I continue to share stories with friends that begin, “When I was with my ex…” and I make promises to myself to never repeat the same mistakes, or expect people to be anything but who they are, not what I wished they’d be, and yes, I include myself in that awareness. This is the legacy of being the person who was left. It takes time. The good news is we are working on redefining our relationship as friends and chosen family. Continue reading →

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Jun 15 2013
Posts

Three Fathers

Father’s Day is Sunday and I’ve been reflecting on my family history and the role of the men in my life. I hail from a matriarchal background, from both my paternal and maternal lineages. The families were headed by women, by default due to death and abandonment on my father’s side, and because of death on my mother’s. The women, my great grandmothers and grandmothers were loyal, hardworking and committed to their namesakes and either outlived or outlasted their male counterparts. Today, my mother carries on the tradition and is the head of my immediate family, she is the glue that holds us together and usually has the last word. Continue reading →

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Jun 03 2013
2 Comments
Posts

A Moving Story III

Home Again

Home again; another journey ends. I’m home again and grateful. Yesterday, when I woke up in my new home after making coffee, followed by making my bed (old habits are hard to break), I sat at my desk, looked out my window on the world — or at least my neighborhood — and journaled. I immediately felt comforted by a familiar ritual as I reflected on the days that led to my arrival here.  Continue reading →

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May 11 2013
Posts

A Grateful Daughter

Every year when Mother’s Day approaches, I think about all the things I want to tell my mother, all the many ways I’m grateful to be her daughter. Most years I find one or two things to share with her, as I sit with her and hold her hand, I share a story about what it means to me to be her daughter.  Continue reading →

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May 04 2013
8 Comments
Posts

First Friend

Today is my sister Roz’s birthday. Every year, when we’d talk on the phone or see each other on her birthday, I’d comment that we could always count on a beautiful day. As I write, the grey clouds are receding, revealing blue sky and the promise of a pleasant spring day.  Continue reading →

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Apr 26 2013
3 Comments
Posts

My Butch Girlfriends

First, one of my ex-girlfriends is visiting Madison in a couple of weeks and we’re going to get together for dinner. We haven’t seen each other for probably over twenty years. I’m looking forward to her visit for a number of reasons, including seeing how time has changed us and how we might remain the same. My recent post, The Ties that Bind explored who in our lives help make up a family, and how friendships bind us together and to our personal history. Continue reading →

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Apr 21 2013
3 Comments
Posts

The Ties That Bind

 “As long as the ties that bind us together are stronger than those that would tear us apart, all will be well.”    

Today’s post is part film review, memoir and musing about the ties that bind us and explores the question of who makes up a family and how a family is made, nurtured, and maintained. Continue reading →

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Mar 26 2013
3 Comments
Posts

A Moving Story

Five years ago when my relationship of 15 years ended, and we first discussed our separation plans, I couldn’t imagine in those initial few moments how I would ever be able to tackle the job of finding a new place to live, pack up many years worth of accumulated material goods, and land on my feet again, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. Continue reading →

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